Current situation: Feeling mostly better, but still pretty sore, trying not to be depressed, clinging to gratitude, going back to work on Monday.

On gratitude, here’s a list….because I am a list-lover and they help me:

  • My steadfast husband, whose love, patience, and encouragement are getting me through this year.
  • A breast cancer prognosis that’s beyond positive.
  • Certainly not worried about uterine cancer anymore.
  • Skilled doctors and caring, gentle nurses and technicians.
  • A life that largely shields me from having to compromise on the care and procedures I need. I have good insurance. I can afford to take a cab if I need to.
  • My friends have stepped up in ways that are truly humbling. My coworkers are genuinely supportive.

On feeling depressed, I’ve really been struggling. This round has felt like a big slide backwards on the physical progress I’d made up to September 19th.

Seriously: Fuck these limitations, side effects, stitches, scabs, swelling, and scar tissue. And walking slowly among people who don’t notice or care. And feeling like I can’t do anything especially well right now.

Well, that sure felt good.